JANE AGIRTAN INDEPENDENT

🚨 BREAKING: Leaked Victorian Labor policies are finally here — and it’s everything you never asked for, all at once.

🤡 Tax land “super profits” — because clearly, CGT doesn’t exist and landowners are just sitting on gold bars eating caviar.

🏠 Selling your home? Cute. Don’t forget to pay your special new tax — because funding more truth-telling commissions obviously takes priority over keeping the roof you built.

💨 State-run cannabis industry — likely to cost billions, deliver nothing, and get “reviewed” quietly after 6 months. Roll it up, boys.

📉 Replacing stamp duty with annual land tax — why take your money once when we can take it forever? It’s not housing affordability if you’re not crying into your mortgage repayments.

🌏 Fast-track the coal exit — no plan for the workers, grid stability, or economic fallout, but hey — the vibes will be immaculate.

🌪️ State-owned wind turbines — because who doesn’t want government-built propellers ruining prime farmland while failing to lower energy prices?

And just when you think they’ve finished…

🗺️ Recognise Palestine — top priority for… well, no one voting in Victorian state elections, but slay.

🚩 Soften protest laws — so CBD businesses can stay boarded up while masked mobs chant slogans at your dinner. What a vibe.

💸 Mental health delays? Sure, but here’s a hotline and some taxpayer weed. Let us know how you feel about it.


Meanwhile:
🤡 Still no real action on integrity
🤡 No accountability for failed projects (SRL, anyone?)
🤡And definitely no reduction in the bloated, consultant-clogged machine draining the budget

Because why govern when you can just tax?